Category Archives: Contemplations

Today was definitely a day I needed.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit oogy.  I figured it was just because I hadn’t slept well, so I got up and got going!  I was at work for a few hours, but the feeling didn’t go away.  My boss was kind enough to let me go home.  I cleared my schedule and made sure that everything that needed to be done was actually completed, and that my back ups were in place.  And then I came home and took a bit of a nap.  Felt better.  Still a little oogy, but definitely better.

I did a little work on my mom’s new computer – getting things set up for her. I watched a little TV.  I played a bit on my computer.  Basically, I just relaxed.  I needed that!  By 5pm I was feeling pretty good – well enough to go work out.  I probably shouldn’t have, but part of me also wondered if the ooginess wasn’t because my body wanted the exercise.  So, I went to Curves – not expecting much, but I still went.

Turns out that was a pretty good thing for me.  I think whatever was making me feel oogy came out in my sweat.  I ended up burning 605 calories.  I’ve also officially lost 25 pounds – I’ve reached my goal for the GCLS conference in July.  I think my new goal is another 15 pounds.  If I get there, FABULOUS…but if I don’t, that’s okay too.  I’ve already met the goal. Yay!

I’ll need to spend a bit of time before the conference going through my clothes to see what fits me again.  I’ve already found a few pairs of pants that haven’t fit me in a few years – I’ve worn them to work!  My ultimate goal is still a ways away, so I don’t want to buy any new clothes.  I don’t see the point if I’m just going to keep losing weight.  So, I’ll be rummaging through my clothes and searching for “July-in-Orlando” appropriate attire.  It’s cost effective and I have some stuff that I really like, but haven’t been able to wear.

I do need to get some reading done…I’ve got a Sony reader full of books and a pile of paperbacks that I haven’t read yet.  I’m working through Ruth Perkinson’s Breaking Spirit Bridge right now.  Whoa!  That is fucking intense!  It took me three days just to get through the first chapter.  And it’s not because it’s bad…it’s because it’s so damned good!  Holy Hell!  Emotional rollercoaster.  I can just imagine what the rest of the book is going to do to me.  I think after this, I’m moving to a light-hearted romance. LOL


What a day

Let’s hear it for the first day back at work following a holiday!

This was just an interesting day all around.  Things are getting kicked into gear at work.  This is good…lots of things to keep me busy and make the day go quicker.  And it’s work for my clients rather than other clients.  Not that I mind helping with the others.  I don’t.  But I’ve really missed my clients. LOL  I like it when things are happening – it’s more interesting that way.

Of course, the middle of the day brought the news that Prop 8 was upheld in California.  Damn!  The fight continues.  I wish I had been able to go to the protest at the Center on Halsted tonight, but I just couldn’t.  Besides already having plans to work out, I had plans with my family.  I’ll have to go another time.  I’m sure that Pride this year will be interesting.

I wonder where all of this hatred comes from…I was not raised to hold hatred in my heart.  And I come from a very Catholic family! I sometimes want to hit my head against a wall when talking to my mother about this stuff.

Seriously, why should anyone care if I choose to spend my life with another woman?  How does that affect their lives?  I don’t tell my straight friends that they shouldn’t or can’t love/marry a person of the opposite sex!  Perhaps that’s what I’ll do – I just won’t recognize other people’s marriages.  Rather than, “How is your husband?” I’ll ask, “How is your life partner?”  or “How is your boyfriend?”  You don’t recognize my commitment to the person I love, then I’m not going to recognize yours.

And don’t bring God into this.  I believe in God.  I believe in my Catholic faith – not the church, mind you, the faith.  I have a relationship with God and it is MY relationship with God.  My God does not hate.  Besides, this isn’t about religion(s).  This is about Civil Rights.  I don’t believe in abortion…I never have.  Yet I am Pro-Choice.  No one has the right to tell me what I can and cannot do with my body.  However, if it came down to it, I would not have an abortion because I do believe that a fetus is a baby.  Just because I feel this way doesn’t mean that anyone else has to.  I may try to talk you out of it; but it is, ultimately, your choice what you do.

So it goes for Gay Rights.  Just because YOU don’t want to share a life with someone of the same sex doesn’t mean you can tell me that I can’t.  You don’t believe in homosexuality?  Fine.  Don’t have a homosexual relationship.  You don’t believe in Gay marriage?  Fine.  Don’t have a Gay marriage.  But get the fuck out of my bedroom and out of my life!  I’ll reciprocate and stay the fuck out of your bedroom and your life.  I’m fair that way.  Why can’t you be?

Off my little soapbox for now.

The work out went pretty well.  I felt a little tired.  But I still managed to hit 581 burned calories.  So that’s good.  I’m staying close to 600.  I really rocked it last Thursday – 677 calories burned!  Woot!  I’m not sure how often I’ll be able to hit that, but I’m hoping to break the 700 barrier by the end of the summer.  That would rock!!

I had my weigh in and measurements on Saturday, 5/23.  Rock and Roll, Baby!  I’ve lost 21.8 pounds and 6.85 inches!  My pants are pretty much falling off these days.  But, I can’t see buying new clothes yet…I still have weight to lose and it’s coming off fairly quickly.  I’ll just keep hiking up those pants…maybe get some altered…maybe go through my closet and see what I have that hasn’t fit me in a while.  All-in-all, I feel pretty good about things.  I have days here and there where I swerve a bit to the right and indulge, but I don’t go way over-board and I always come back on track.  I’ve just gotten it in my mind that I can’t punish myself.  If I stray, I stray.  That’s just life.  I’m doing good.  I have lots of support.  I’m determined.  That’s what matters.

My web site has a new look!  Do you like it?  I hope you’ll let me know.

The Bookstore is up and running.  I really hope people will stop by and do some shopping.  By the end of this week, I should have the Merchandise page finished and published for public consumption.  I’ll be sure to make an announcement.  And I got my first batch of Reader Recommendations – those should be up by the end of the week as well.

The June Featured Author will be….*drum roll*….the marvelous JD Glass!!!  I’m excited.

Never say never

I need to stop thinking so vehemently about the things I think I’ll never do.  It’s proving fruitless.

I said I would never make the move to ebooks…in February, I bought a Sony PRS-505 ereader.  I love the thing!  Don’t get me wrong…I still love my books.  I still buy books.  There’s something so wonderful about the feeling of the pages between my fingers.  However, I found that my Sony was so wonderful when I was traveling earlier this month.  I only had to carry the Sony and I had my choice of about 60 books to read.  It was quite handy as I sat in LaGuardia for 5 hours waiting for my delayed flight to actually board.

In high school and college, I said I would never like history.  My thesis for my first masters degree dealt with the Civil War.  I became so totally immersed in all kinds of history when I lived in Washington DC while doing the research for the thesis at the Library of Congress.  I’m as likely to watch a historical documentary as I am a romantic comedy on TV.

Fairly recently, I said I would never get into social networking like MySpace and Facebook.  I have accounts with both and have pretty much become addicted to Facebook.  Okay, perhaps “addicted” is a strong word.  (*cough*)  However, I do check in on Facebook every day…even on vacations.  If for no other reason, it’s to keep up with the requests! LOL  I don’t use the MySpace account as much since I don’t find it as user friendly – and MySpace hasn’t gotten me back in touch with so many friends from high school and college.

I said I would never use Twitter.  I now tweet daily.  I still don’t know why.  I don’t think what I do every day is particularly interesting.  Certainly not interesting enough to “tweet”.  Yet, I do it.  I’m not really sure of the fascination.  I haven’t figured it out.  The twitter use has not grown to the same levels as Facebook – again, twitter doesn’t have the scope that Facebook has.  But I’m truly intrigued by throwing out a quick snippet every now and then throughout the day.  While driving home during rush hour, I usually yell at other drivers to get off their cell phones and drive, dammit!  Five minutes later, I’m grabbing my phone to tweet about how crappy traffic is.  Is Twitter turning me into a hypocrite?  Shit!

Perhaps I need to check myself whenever I say “never” from now on.  My own history is proving that “never” never becomes a reality.

Damn.  I did it again.